Monday, September 25, 2017

Finding Calm in Chaos

     As I write, the house is quiet. Both my boys are in bed, and my husband is getting back into the routine of getting some side-work done. The dishes are done, my living/dinging room is somewhat clean, and I feel like I can finally take a deep breath.
     It's been a long couple of weeks/months. James has the whooping cough, so it's been a long road of Vitamin C, staying away from people so as not to spread it, and throwing up from coughing so hard. In the midst of the whooping cough, he's got a couple other health things going on with him that we're trying to figure out. Being a mama to two cute little boys can be hard at time, and I wonder how other moms do it with more kids than what I have. However, with how difficult and stressful life can be with my two boys, they are an absolute joy to my husband and I!
     My husband and I have learned a lot about marriage, parenting, and how stressful life can get. It's hard to take a deep breath and find calm when life is so chaotic. There have been several times this last week when I'm taking my husband to work so that I can have the car for the day, and we've prayed on the way to his work. We've prayed when we've got one baby screaming because he hates the car-seat, and another baby who's making his own happy noises in the back of the car. It's funny; the sounds of the baby's are in the background, but somehow my husband and I are able to focus on praying. It's hard for me to personally remember to pray to God when life is so chaotic, that I can't even remember what I bought to make for dinner that week, or when my oldest son woke up from his nap.
     Finding calm in Chaos... it's hard, isn't it?! There have been several nights recently that I'm just in tears at the end of the night because I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, and there's nothing left of me to grab onto anything. It's in these moments that I need to hold tight onto Christ. After all, his power is made perfect in our weakness. (2nd Corinthians 12:9)
     Another thing to remember when you're in the middle of chaos, is to stop and smell the roses every once and a while. Find joy in the little things. God knew what we needed when He blessed us with little Ezra!... he smiles all the time! He literally only cries if he's tired or in the carseat. His smiles remind me to find joy in the little things, to take a deep breath, and find calm in Christ during chaotic times.
Have a blessed week! 

Friday, September 1, 2017

A letter to my husband on your birthday...

     To my dear husband who works so hard and is so faithful at being a daddy and husband, thank you! Thank you for being you! Thank you for loving me through all my crazy days when I'm crying for no reason. We’ve lived some lean, hard times interspersed with grace notes of abundance, but our years have been fruitful and God has blessed us with 2 children to show for them. Our faith has been tested, sometimes hope hard to hold, and we can testify that parenthood is certainly not for cowards. Oh, my word, no! We've had many trials in our life just with being parents, but all I can say through it all is, thank you! Thank you for not giving up on me when it's been a tough day of baby screams and grumpy's all day. Thank you for always cheering me up and for always being a shoulder to cry on. 

     This is a letter to you on your birthday, to recognize in public the things you do and the things you stand for. Often times, you and I tell each other the same thing, "I don't know how you can love me, but I'm grateful you do!" Josh, from the bottom of my heart, I want to scream to the world how much I love you! I love the absolute Joy on your face when you come home from work, and see James smiling at you and wanting you to hold him. I love the joy on your face when you make him laugh, and you know that you have a special bond with him. I love the smile baby Ezra gives you when you talk to him. 
    I love those times when we've held each other and cried over how to take care of our children, or how to raise them up. I can always count on you to cheer me up, and to encourage me when I feel like I've failed at being a mother and a wife. You're my constant friend, and the love of my life!
     There's not a day that goes by that I'm not thankful for you. I am more in love with you today, than I was when we were first married, and that love continues to grow every day!
     When I look back and see everything we've been through in the last year especially, I can't help but love you even more. You're so loving and hard working. You know how to make my day better when it's been a rough day. You know how to put a smile on James's face when he's been all but grumpy all day. You know how to remind me calmly that it's okay, and that tomorrow will be better.
     I am so in love with you, and that love grows even more every day. I love you to the moon and back! <3









Happy Birthday!
Forever and always yours,
Caitlin