Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Waiting: My Story: Part 1

     If you had told me last year that I'd be engaged by December of this year, I wouldn't have believed you! I've had my moments, when I doubted Gods plans for me, and doubted that I'd ever be in a relationship, much less, married!
     In July of this year,(2014) I wrote a blog post for my birthday: http://daughterofdestiny generation78.blogspot.com/2014/07/greater-expectations.html ... in this blog post, I have another perspective on the little things of life that God blessed me with throughout this last year, instead of looking at it as, an un-married woman.
     After I wrote that blog post, about 2 weeks later, I saw Mark Robinette and his family at a church Family Camp. I met Mark earlier that year, when he came to Russia with us, so I was excited that he was going to be one of the speakers at the Family Camp. Him and my dad were talking at one of the tables one morning, and when Mark waved for me to come over, he began telling me all about this young man, "Joshua Narwold". He kept saying how Josh would be a perfect match for me to marry! I was very doubtful, because, I didn't think there was any
chance that I could meet this young man, because after all, when was I going to be going to Ohio?!
     I gave Mark my blog name, and apparently, he called Josh almost immediately, and told him to look at my blog, and get to know my family. Josh called my dad about a week later, letting my dad know that his intentions were serious, and that he wanted to get to know me, with the intention of marriage.
     Josh came out on September 5th, to meet me and my family. He stayed in Colorado through the weekend, and we clicked immediately, and were pretty comfortable talking with each other. After he left, we started to chat via-Facebook, and talk on the phone. My mom and I went out to Ohio on October 5th, to see him, his brother and sister-in-law, and his church friends/community. As my mom puts it, "When we left Ohio, Caitlin's heart stayed with it." :) Coming back to Colorado was very sad for me, because I really felt at home there in Ohio. I was welcomed as part of the family. Josh and I continued to chat and talk on the phone daily, and got to know each other pretty well. He came out to Colorado again in November, and as usual, our time was wonderful! In December, my parents and I would fly out to Wisconsin to meet the rest of his family, and little did I know, it was going to be on that trip, that he'd propose. I've had my share of times that I felt like I'd never be married for several reasons, which I'll go over next blog post. I'd like to leave you with this Bible Verse from Lamentations 3:25-26, "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Keeping Christ in Christmas

     Christmas approaches very fast! It's not uncommon anymore to hear "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". What happened? Jesus is no longer the reason for the season any more. Now, it's true that we should celebrate Christ birth and resurrection every day, not just on the "specific days"; but when did it become too much to hear, "Merry Christmas!"
     A couple days ago, I watched a video of what kids thought Christmas was about, and who they thought Jesus was, what kind of gifts He was brought...etc.. It was extremely disappointing to see how far mis-lead these kids were. You heard some of them say that Jesus was brought lots of money, and clothes; and you heard some kids say that Jesus came as a king riding on a camel. It's very unfortunate that some kids aren't taught the real meaning of Christmas.
     Last week, after going to the store, an older man greeted me with, "Happy Holidays!" I almost said Happy Holidays back, but stopped myself and said, "Merry Christmas!" instead. He looked at me like I was crazy, and moved on. I couldn't help but wonder, what changed? Why have we stopped using Christ in Christmas? Christmas isn't a time for presents, trees, lights, goodies, and such. (although that's fun too!) But, the real reason why we celebrate Christmas, is because we celebrate Jesus coming down to this earth, in the form of "Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." (Luke 2:12,16)
     "And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night, and behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you; You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" (Luke 2:7-14)
     Let's not forget the real reason why we celebrate Christmas! And this Christmas season, let's keep Christ in the Center! After all, He's the reason for the season! :) Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!

Monday, December 15, 2014

I'm Engaged!!! :)

     Hello all! This past week, my parents and I went to visit Josh Narwold and his family in Wisconsin. While there, Josh got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him! :) Of course, I said yes!!!
   
     The Proposal Story (the short version):
     My parents and I arrived in Milwaukee,Wisconsin around lunch. We all went to Josh's parents house for lunch, stayed there for a couple hours, and then Josh said that he was ready to go. We planned ahead of time, that he was going to show me the indoor botanical gardens. We arrived there, and walked through the Christmas themed first, then the desert themed, and then the Tropical Themed. As we were walking, he was talking about how we first met, and his thoughts about me. He asked if I wanted to sit down on the bench for a little bit, and he continued to talk. After a little bit, Josh got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him! :)
    
   Apparently, Josh had it all set up to take our engagement pictures at the gardens by their family friend, Laura, whom they'd grown up with. It was quite the beautiful day! :) I can't wait to Marry the man of my life, and I'm so grateful to God for bringing Josh into my life! I love you Joshua Narwold!!! :)


Our Goodbye's at the airport. :(

Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Power Of Prayer

     When we pray, what do we usually pray about? Is it things we want or need? Is it to heal someone over sickness, doubt, loneliness, anger, or bitterness?
     Recently, I was looking over my old prayer journal's; A journal that I started writing in, a couple years ago. of my prayer request, struggles, concerns, and thoughts to God. Looking back on them always amazes me how faithful God really is... even in the dark times.
     I couldn't help but look back on my life, think, ponder, and reflect on how God had used every instance for His glory. At the time, I didn't understand it, but after looking through all my journal entries, I have those "ah ha" moments that God brought back to my mind. Those moments of confusion, and chaos became clear to me, what God was doing.
     Reflecting back, I wondered, was I praying out of love, or pure selfishness? Was it from my heart, or out of hate and anger? Sometimes, it was a mix of emotions, and sometimes out of peacefulness and tranquility.
     God hears every prayer that we say... whether on paper or out loud. Prayer is conversation with God. Prayer can be the internal voice that directs the external action. The weather may be bad, and the economy may be bad, but even then God is still good!
     Have you ever had those moments when you want to cry out to God, "I need help!" but fear and pride get in the way? A pride that says, "I can't do it!" When it should be, "God, I need help, only You can do it!" That silent plea inside us all to surrender, unto Christ.
     "I practiced what I call, "Let go and let God." I took my hands and cupped them in front of me, held them up, and verbally put inside those hands everything I was fretting over and didn't have any answers to. I said out loud as I held up both hands, "There it is, Lord, I give it all to you."... As I dropped my arms to my side, a wonderful feeling of serenity suddenly spread throughout my entire being. I now had peace in the midst of the storm." ~ Dale Galloway
     "Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; have mercy on me, and hear my prayer." ~ Psalm 4:1~
     "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:6-7~
     "Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving." ~ Colossians 4:2~

Monday, December 1, 2014

The Grand Design(er)

     There's a designer to everything. Someone who creates something from nothing. Someone who takes the time and energy to create every detail. Creating something isn't always easy. I often look at things that my little brother or sister created, and think, "Wow! I don't think I have the patience to do that!" We all have our special gifts and talents that God has given us, and God loves to watch us bloom into the person that He created and formed us to be.
     Have you ever seen inside a pocket watch? To see how each individual spring is placed, and how it's all put together, to tell us time. It's incredible!
     I've often wondered how people don't believe in God, our Creator. To think of how God design's each part of us. He molds us into His grand design. We're told in Psalm 139: 13:16, "For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed..."
     In the Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary, the word "Design" is said to: Plan; to form an outline or representation of any thing. To purpose or intend; the general order of the whole; one who frames.
     When you have blueprints to create something, people come together to give their own idea's. They create something out of nothing; and therefore, create a Design.
     There's a designer to everything. However, God, is the ultimate Designer! God created each and every one of us! Our purpose in life, is to Glory God, and enjoy Him forever! As God molds us into who He wants us to be, He chisel's away, and creates a masterpiece. 
     "Indeed My hand has laid the foundation of the earth, and My right hand has stretched out the heavens; when I call to them, they stand up together." ~Isaiah 48:13    

Sunday, November 23, 2014

In Everything Give Thanks

     Many times, we take life for granted. Even our daily need of food, water, and a roof over our head, we're not always thankful for.
     This evening, in the midst of us packing for our trip to Texas, and leaving in the morning, my dad called the family together. We went around the room telling each other different things we were thankful for. It ranged from, faithful Godly parents, to friends and family, to food and water. As it came time for my turn, I couldn't help but think of all the little things in life that I'm grateful for. Sometimes, I forget to count my blessing... it's good to be reminded every once in a while. ;) God is good!
     I think, often times, we only thank God in the good times... but, what about the dark times? The times when we don't feel like we have anything to be grateful for? The loss of a loved one... a prodigal... a fire/flood/earthquake that destroyed everything we owned. In 1st Thessalonians 5:18 we're reminded, "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." I know, it's a lot harder to praise God in the midst of a storm. I always love looking at Job's life in the Bible. He lost it all... but in the midst of it, he said, "... The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."
     So, in the midst of some of our darkest days, are we thankful? Instead of mourning the loss of a loved one. Mourn for them... but be thankful that God blessed you with time to be with that person.
     I know, it's a lot harder to say, than do. But, by God's grace, He will give us the endurance to press on... we need only to be still. In Psalm 106:1, we're told, "Praise the Lord! Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever." What an amazing passage of scripture. God is good, isn't he?!
     So, this Thanksgiving, have fun, laughter, and love. Let Christ love flow through you, and have a good time... but, let's be thankful every day... not just on Thanksgiving! :)
     What are some things you're thankful for? What are your plans for Thanksgiving? I'd love to hear! :)
In Everything Give Thanks
It’s easy to praise and give thanks
When all is sunny and bright,
But have we LEARNED to thank our Lord
In the DARK troublesome night?
Do we thank Him then?
When waters are so rough and deep,
And pressures of LIFE surround,
When faced with mountains that are steep
Our greatest strength can be found…
As we give Him thanks.
Every TRIAL and tribulation
Is first sifted through His LOVE,
And all things work out for our good
When we love our God above…
Let us give Him thanks.
Thank Him in sickness and hardship,
And all the problems that come,
In those dark VALLEYS we go through
That conform us to His Son…
Oh, let us thank Him.
We know He’s on His Holy Throne,
And when we are in His fold,
Everything that touches our life
Is for the good of our soul…
In Everything Give Thanks!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

What is a Lady?

     To me a lady is not frilly, flouncy, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle, she is gracious, she is godly and she is giving. You and I have the gift of femininity… the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God’s glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.”  ~Elisabeth Elliot
     In today’s society, a feminine woman is not exactly valued. However, a woman who is making her own way in the big wide world, climbing the corporate ladder, whisking through the social scene, knocking out glass ceilings- this is the woman that’s held in high esteem.
     While Proverbs 31 mentions a woman who is business woman (she considers a field and buys it….” The majority of Proverbs 31 is talking about what kind of a wife, mother and homemaker she is.
     Sometimes it seems like the Proverbs 31 woman is a dream.  I mean, really… who accomplishes everything that is written about in that chapter?
     The quote above from Elisabeth Elliot gives us a good insight into what we should be striving for as a godly woman. We are to be gentler. (That means we shouldn't yell at our children all day long.) You may think that’s quite a challenge, but it can be done! ;)
     A godly woman is gracious. That means she is courteous, kind, and pleasant. Again, some days make this feel impossible, but it can be done!
     A godly woman is giving. She extends herself to others, but she is always mindful of the needs of her family. Nowhere does it indicate that the Proverbs 31 woman extended herself to others at the expense of her family. She knew how to balance the needs of her family with the needs of others.
     While the Proverbs 31 woman may at times seem like an unattainable dream, I believe God placed those verses in his scriptures to call us to vision of godly womanhood for the benefit of others. If we continue faithfully in our efforts to live up to her beautiful example, we too will find out families rising up and calling us blessed. 
     "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." ~Proverbs 31:20-31~

Monday, November 10, 2014

Passing the Baton and Pressing On

    Triathlon’s… Some have done it, some have seen it, and some have watched on the side lines, in despair.  What happens in a Triathlon? The runners take their mark; their heart is beating so fast, they can hear it. The countdown starts, 3…2…1… GO!!! With full speed ahead, the runners make way to run the race.  A couple people stumble, and fall. A couple people snicker, as they pass by the “slow” ones, and a couple people are so focused on the path, that they don’t see anyone else around them.
     As the runners near their destination, they feel the pressure, and their body aches. The sweat is draining, and the sun is beating down on them. They have 50 yards to go… 40… 30…20…10… and, they pass the baton onto the next person. The next person in line goes full speed ahead, into the water. Feeling the  cold against their body is hard, but it’ll be worth it. After they swim their part, they get  out of the water, and pass the baton onto the next person, on the bike. The bikers then ride head-on to finish the race. Some get a flat on their tire, some are going too fast, and slide into the pavement/dirt with a hard slam. The ones, who are still on their bike, are already getting tired. After what seems like forever, they can see their destination just around the corner. They’re so close, and then all of a sudden a rabbit runs into the trail, making the biker to either decide to avoid the rabbit, either causing the biker to crush the rabbit, or to avoid the rabbit, but cause the biker to crash. The biker looks behind himself to make sure that no one else is close by so that he can get the rabbit to safety, he stops his bike, and waits for the rabbit to hop away; and the biker’s off again. He rounds the bend, see’s people gathering at the finishing line, and yelling for the biker to finish. The biker starts  to look behind him, and see’s that there’s people catching up to him, so he pedals faster, and then, just when the Biker was about to give up, he made it to the finish line.
     Just like Triathlon's work, it works with our walk with Christ. We are constantly in a battle with making it to the finish line, and passing the baton. The road isn't easy, and there are distractions in this world that can cause us to lose our way. 
     I'm reminded in 1st Corinthians 9:24, "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it."     Here are a couple other verses that I thought were very helpful! :) Continue to run the race; we are in this together, running for our goal, to please God in everything we do.
     "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. (Hebrews 12:1)
     "Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

We Forget Because We Don't Remember

This post was written by Mark Robinette, on his Ministry site: http://missiontomyanmar.com/
I enjoyed it so much, I thought I'd re-post it. :) Enjoy!
     Rich people like us are so busy taking care of all our many blessings we forget the God who gave them to us. When we give to our brothers and sisters in need, we remember the giver of all things.

     We have a catechism question here at Foundation Church that developed from one of my sermons years ago. I ask the church, “Why do we forget?” and they respond, “Because we don’t remember.”
      Simple enough? We are a forgetful people and we need to be intentional about remembering or we will forget. From Joshua’s stones of remembrance on either side of the Jordan to sacrifices, feasts, Sabbaths, washing's and even their every meal, God built a life of constant remembrance for His elect people, lest they forget.
     God’s imperatives of Deuteronomy chapter 6 almost seem ridiculous as they hammer this point home. 
It could have said, “teach your children my commands.”
     But as we well know, God told them to do this as they sat in their houses, when they walked by the way, when they laid down to sleep and when they rose up in the morning. Then he told them to bind them for a sign upon their hands, make them as frontlets between their eyes and write them upon the posts of their houses, and on their gates.
     The imagery here reminds me of the ever forgetful man who ties a green string around the pinky finger of his left hand, to remind him of the red one around the forefinger of his right hand, that reminds him of the blue one around his thumb telling him he’s supposed to remember something, but he can’t remember what it was.
That’s us. The more we have, it seems, the more forgetful we are. God told them and he is telling us to “beware lest we forget the Lord.”
Giving is a constant reminder God is the source of everything we have.
Jay Leno reminded people for Doritos to “eat all you want, we’ll make more” and I’d like to remind you and me to “Give all we want, God will make more.”
Every time we give away what God has given us it is an intentional way of remembering the one who gave the gift as well as faith that he’ll give us more tomorrow.
God taught this when he would not allow the Children of Israel to collect more manna than they needed for each day and later after they had come to the Promised Land not to harvest the corners of their fields but to leave them for the needy among them.
At our home, we know we are forgetful too. We have to work at remembering.
On our kitchen table we have a jar with a picture we made of our brothers and sisters in Myanmar. They are very poor. We put the jar on our table for several reasons. First to remember to pray, then to remember to put money in the jar for them and next to remember we have so very much at every meal. We also eat rice one meal each week to remember rice is sometimes all they have to eat. This has been good for me and my family.
God’s ways are so wise. Not only has it been good for us, it has been good for them. Yes they are blessed by the gift for it’s actual value in what they can buy, but they are blessed with several much needed reminders too. God answers prayer, they have brothers and sister in Christ who love them and pray for them and that all they have comes from God. This is truly a gift that keeps on giving.
It’s like the washer and dryer someone gave a young couple in our church. The rear entrance of their home goes through the laundry room and every time they walk by them they became much more than appliances. Not only do they wash and dry clothing, they hum a sweet tune. The words of this song testify of the truth God cares for them like he does for the lilies of the field and he does this through the church.
Have you remembered to give lately? Don’t be afraid you don’t have enough to give. When you don’t because of this you are saying God will not provide.
Trying to remember this years ago, my sweet wife spent many hours stitching these words into what is called a “sampler,” framing it, and hanging it on our wall. It says “The Lord Provides."

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Learning To Walk

     Today, I took my little 6 year old brother to his PE+Plus class. As I was reading a book, I noticed that he came down the hill, looking very upset. When I found out why he was so upset, he said, "Everyone's playing basketball, but I can't... it's too hard!" I asked him if he even tried it, and he said he did, but that he gives up. I then proceeded to tell him that when he first learned to walk, that he fell down constantly, but that he didn't give up, that he tried, and kept trying. He kept on moving, and trying to walk, until he succeeded.
     How often have you tried to move forward in your own feeble power and ended up in a heap on the floor? You think you can do it, and God allows you to try. Proving to yourself and everybody around that you're simply not up to the task, you give up or give in. And just then, He reaches down with those loving hands and lifts you up to walk you through the barriers of your life- in His limitless strength.
     That's the promise. He gave it to you and to me, and He stand behind His word. He stands behind you too. He may allow you to fall, but He'll never allow you to be defeated. That's the idea to set securely into your heart. Don't let life's commotion shake it away from you, because it carries hope. Whatever you may be facing today, don't give up or give in. Wait for those marvelous, loving hands to cover our own- be ready to laugh with delight as He walks you, in His power, to places you never thought you could reach.
     What are some ways that you felt like God was teaching you to Walk?

Philippians 4:12-13


"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Psalm 31:24


"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!"

Romans 12:12


"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

1 Corinthians 13:7


"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Galatians 6:9


"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Friday, October 24, 2014

Biblical Courtship in the Modern World

     Before I continue on, I thought I'd let ya'll know that I'm in a courtship with Joshua Narwold! :) Many of you probably read his guest post that he did on my blog last week. He's a wonderful writer, and had some great thoughts and insights... didn't he?! :)
     A couple weeks ago, I started reading, "Her hand in Marriage" by Douglas Wilson. In this book, he goes over many things, but I thought I'd post just some things that stood out to me the most. The word "courtship", get many people confused. There's many different thoughts and opinions on what a courtship looks like. These are some of the thoughts that I agree with in Doug's book. Enjoy! :)
     Everyone dates. Or at least, everyone is supposed to date. Or, if they don't date, then something is wrong, or someone is ugly, right? But in America today, relationships between boys and girls, men and women, husbands and wives are a stretcher case. The fact that pride exists at the heart of this problem can be seen in our various responses to the difficulties. The worse our troubles get, the more faith we have in our methods and procedures. But in our culture, men and women are trained to harden themselves so they may go readily from relationship to relationship. Sometimes there is a marriage oath made and broken, and sometimes not. Going from one relationship to another has become a national pastime. People start very early with recreational dating, and, protest notwithstanding, most dating today leads to a sexual relationship. In this regard, the pattern of behavior among young people who are professing Christians is not much different from that of the world. Because the church has largely adopted a worldly system of dating, the walls of protection for our children which God designed have been broken down. We have provided our children with enough Christianity to ensure their guilt when they fornicate, but not enough to ensure their purity.
     Our system of recreational dating has broken down; it is time to return to the biblical pattern for getting together. Apart from biblical dating or courting, there are many destructive consequences-emotional, sexual, and spiritual. But if a young man seeks to initiate a relationship, and takes full responsibility for the relationship under the woman's father, there is a scriptural accountability and protection.
     Our dating system, considered as a system, does not biblically prepare young men and women for marriage-at least for marriage as God designed it. The modern dating system does not train young people to form a relationship. It trains them to form a series of relationships, and further trains them to harden themselves to the break-up of all but the current one. At the very least, this system is as much a preparation for divorce as it is for marriage. Men are created and called to initiate, and women are created and called to respond. First, the Bible calls men and women to fulfill their respective roles in courtship, and secondly, they are called to fulfill them with wisdom. Such wisdom requires that we follow God's revealed design.

Here are a couple great blog post/articles that talk about courtship a little bit more. :)
http://anoblecallingblog.blogspot.com/2014/09/my-thoughts-on-courtship-vs-dating-ll.html
http://anoblecallingblog.blogspot.com/2014/09/my-thoughts-on-courtship-vs-dating-ll_3.html
http://anoblecallingblog.blogspot.com/2014/09/my-thoughts-on-courtship-vs-dating-ll_4.html

Monday, October 20, 2014

Guest Post: Surrendering

Today's Guest Post was wonderfully written by Joshua Narwold! I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I did! Enjoy!
When we pray, it’s natural to ask for the things we want; and the Lord loves to bless His children. How do we react, though, when His answer is “no”—or even “not yet”? Unbelievable as this may be when we recognize God for the all-wise, all-knowing, all-powerful being He is, it’s often easier for us to trust our own vision for the future than to step out in faith and sacrifice that vision to Him.
Not long ago, as a man in his mid-20s with a renewed desire to serve the Lord, I couldn't help but feel as though I was “behind” somehow. I’d had a (somewhat blurry) image of what I wanted, which included the “right” job and marriage to a beautiful, godly woman; but I’d expected to have those things already, and I wasn't getting any younger.
Through a providential series of circumstances that tested my faith and brought me low, God revealed the true state of my heart. My life had always been in His hands, but only if it matched my expectations. I had tried to plot out my future without truly surrendering it to Him, and I had virtually nothing to show for my efforts.
For the first time, I began to acknowledge the very real possibility that His plan might look different from the “perfect" picture I had in my head. I continued to ask for specific blessings but no longer assumed that it was in my best interests for Him to answer as requested. I asked Him to reveal His will for my life rather than simply giving me the things I thought I wanted.
That’s not an easy transition for any of us to make. It takes trusting someone we can’t see with a future we don’t know; and at least for me, that kind of trust doesn't come naturally.
The words of Matthew are a comfort: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself” (6:33-34). The Lord knows what we need and is faithful to fulfill those needs (Ps. 23); and when we accept Him as the author of our story, He begins to draw our desires closer to His perfect plan.
These things take time; and even as the Lord sanctifies us in this area, we will continue to struggle on occasion with surrendering our every desire to Him. In history, this struggle is probably best represented by the biblical story of Job. If anyone had reason to doubt the power or goodness of God, it was this man; he’d had nearly every earthly blessing stripped from him as if in a moment. Listen, though, to the words our Lord as He put it all in perspective for Job:
“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?” (38:4-7)
I’m sure Job shouted for joy as the Lord not only restored his blessings, but doubled them. May we do the same as we experience the hand of God moving in our life; and may we ultimately say with the psalmist, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever" (Ps. 73:25-26).